The Neighbor

People in cities..... people in villages... people every where and any where leads a happy life with the hope that there are neighbors to share our happiness, to help us when we are in need, to share the good food etc.

I stepped outside the door to amble in the corridor. I looked at my left just to see the house with the door shut. I looked at my right just to see an empty staircase of the next house.

I looked straight to see two trees that are neighbors to each other.

One is the huge berry tree. Regardless of the time it is the only living being which greets me with big sway (smile). Everyday... "Good morning"..... wishes the big tree with the cool breeze and the little birds chirping on the tree which is just in front of the gate.

The big tree greets us with no hesitation. It has no fear of not wearing a mask. It has no fear to share the space under its branches with the trespassers. It is the home for little squirrels that are joyful to watch. When it's the season, it has no fear of sharing its food (fruits) with everyone.

Conversely........ The neighbor of the berry tree is.... An empty plot in front of my house with a big Gulmohar tree that has shred the leaves. There are flowers blooming here and there.

If the trees can speak then Gulmohar tree might have told to the Berry tree "I envy you". Because, no one wants to rest under Gulmohar tree. No one wants to enjoy the beauty of the scarlet coloured flowers. No one wants to touch Gulmohar tree. Why???!!

Because, it was just looking like a hanger.... in fact a dagger holding the discarded objects thrown from the adjacent apartments.

But..... is it the mistake of the Gulmohar tree? Will the humans ever realize the irreparable damage they are doing to this nature? Are these people really a good neighbor to the tree?

Jyothi

Do not be hesitant! - Part 2

DEEP SLEEP... Suddenly I wake up..... I feel breathless... I feel someone is pushing me into ground... I can feel my heart beat... I shiver..... Gasp....gasp... gasp... look around... mind doesn't let me think...  What's happening to me? What to do? What to do? Am I getting a heart attack? Do I have some problem in my lungs? Then what is this? Should I run to casualty during this mid night? Am I going to die?

Afternoon.... Kids slept. I completed my work. Laid down on sofa watching TV. Slowly eyes closed because of tiredness. Was taking a nap. Suddenly I wake up..... I feel breathless... I feel someone is pushing me into ground... I can feel my heart beat... I shiver..... Gasp....gasp... gasp...

Why am I like this? What if I die? Who will take care of my children? How will they grow up without me?

This is an anxiety/panic attack. Yes, its no doubt an anxiety attack.

"An idle man's brain is a devil's workshop". The anxiety attack is just the replica of the above famous saying. Panic or anxiety attacks hits you when your mind is not involved in any work. It doesn't mean all the people who are not doing any work at a moment have anxiety attacks. People who has already suppressed their mind by not identifying the fears will surely have it.

I ignored the signals and gave chance for my fears to grow into anxiety attacks. Initially I thought it's because of sickness. Later, after all checkups I understood that physically am fine. My fears grew along with me... Everyday only a single thought in my mind. Will I get anxiety attack today also? What to do if I get it? I am disturbing all my family members. What will they think of me?

No one could save me on this earth. No one!! What to do? What to do? It's then.....
I approached Ms.Vandana Vijayan. We both were not in same place. So, the session started through mobile phone. Initially she extracted the series of events that took place in my life, which resulted in insecurity, lack of confidence etc etc. She then addressed all my problems slowly and steadily.

Vandana, made me realize what are my strengths. She brought out one by one slowly. Whenever we approach someone for help, first thing you need to have is "TRUST". Being a psychologist she gave me few tips to handle my anxiety attacks. She instructed me in prior what to do. Me, without any second thought whether it would work or not, I used to follow her instructions. When you completely trust.... a drop of water given to you saying as a "Miracle Medicine" would cure the disease.

She used to give me daily tasks and keep me occupied. It might be a silly task, but by end of the day after I completed it... I used to have a proud feeling... "Yes, I can do anything assigned to me."

Then... addressing my anxiety attacks. She explained me about it. Let me put it in my own words "An anxiety attack is like a headache. It comes and it goes. Do not give priority to it. Just divert your mind."
When I was having attack she suggested me to -
* Sip some cold water
* Write down what am I feeling at that moment
* Wash my face with cold water
* Go outside the gate of my house and have a walk. Observe any 5 things around me. Write about it.

The last one really helped me. It gave me time to observe nature. Small birds. Stray dogs. Blooming flowers. Insects buzzing around me. Cool breeze. Saplings. Flowers turning into fruits. I never thought "What is this? Vandana asks me to go on road and walk here and there. How will this help me?"  At times, when I went out of the gate, some neighbor used to greet me and they used to initiate the conversation. This also diverted my mind.

Vandana gave me the mindset of taking up things easy. "It's Okay" if something doesn't meet my expectation. Everyone need not live life as per my expectation. Also, I should not live life as per others expectations. She made me understand and taught me the art of saying "NO" if I don't like something. Saying NO was my biggest problem which created a mess in my life.

My Sister, my husband and Vandana motivated me a lot to restart my career. They encouraged me to join a course which I thought would be impossible for me. I was skeptical. What if I faint again during my class? Who will take care of me? How to go alone? I used to carry something to munch thinking that I would faint if I don't eat properly. I used to carry Glucose, water bottle. Later, as days passed on I understood these are my fears. Let me confront my fear and  resolve it. So, I stopped carrying too many things with me. Only one small toffee and small water bottle. I realised. I would be fine even without munching something.

I started to be independent again. Cleared the course in distinction. A good job in one of the top most reputed educational institution. Brought back my life on track.

It took 6 to 8 months for me to bounce back to my original character. Approaching Vandana was solely my decision. I never asked anyone "can I go o should I go?" No one will understand the pain I underwent. It might look silly to others. But to me, it was the biggest problem I ever faced in my life. Always, have confidence in the doctor you approached. Probably, my blind trust in following Vandana's silliest to toughest tasks, has brought me out of my anxiety. Do not judge the psychologist. Because they have proven research that these tips would help a person in anxiety.

My fears has taught me to start a disciplined life. Balancing my professional and personal life. Giving importance to my feelings. Always set up a goal which will make you relaize learning is a continuous process.

If I was hesitant... If I never want to agree it was an anxiety attack.... If I always console myself with the support of my family members showing sympathy on me... If I haven't followed Vandana's tips... Imagine.

Now and then, I am seeing people around me suffering with anxiety, depression. But they don't seek help and they suppress their mind instead of controlling.

Love yourself the most. It's not being selfish. It's taking care of yourself.

Do not be hesitant!

When you find nothing interesting....

when you feel low in confidence....

when your mind thinks beyond the reality...

when you don't have any one to share your thoughts.....

UNDERSTAND..... its time to speak to yourself.

I don't generalize the statements above. But most of the people, especially women comes across the above situation. Most of them try to ignore but ignoring just worsens the situation. So, always address your problems. How to address it??? "SPEAK TO YOURSELF." It might sound foolish... But it is the solution. Let me discuss 2 points:

1) Have you ever seen some one in a depressed state? Depressed state need not be a person with dark circles around his/her eyes, not speaking to anyone, unable to make an eye to eye contact etc etc...

Depressed people speaks more. Shows off as if he/she is very happy. Speaks as if they are intellectuals. Boasts about themselves. Who cannot control their emotions.

2) Did you ever see a person with Panic attacks or have you ever experienced it? A person don't understand that they are panicking and its a panic attack. 

Problems in Point no. 1 which are unaddressed will slowly leads to point no. 2. I am not a degree holder in Psychology. However I had enough experience of the above two. Fortuantely, I was able to identify and address my problems with the help of one of my good friend Ms. Vandana Vijayan.

What do first people think when they are in amidst of a problem is... Why me?? Its the common human nature. Why me.... Its because of a series of experiences which you have come across in the past that leaves a long lasting impression on your mind. Let me tell you that the experiences may or may not be aghast. Well, one more reason for "Why me?" can be an unexpected change in lifestyle.

You can ask me now - "What's the reason to write it now?" Because, I see many people around me struggling and trying to convince themselves that they are fine. They hesitate to consult someone. That's the reason am writing this article... to those hesitant people.

For me it all happened because of change in lifestyle, post delivery problems and few experiences which I have never imagined before. Everyone has their own expectations of their future. But when we don't reach expectations..... when reality is different from imagination.... what happens? I started pitying myself. Where as no one else was recognized it. Slowly my self pity turned into lack of self confidence . Then lack of self confidence to a kind of insecurity. It all happened in the duration of an Year. 

At this point of time I did not want to admit myself to my family members. Why? What if they feel if I am psychologically imbalanced? By this time I was lacking confidence and was suffering to stay alone at least for an hour because I felt my body is weak. I am not physically strong. Slowly my dissatisfied levels arose and my face started to show up. I had the disgrace "this is not what I am. I was bold, smart and confident. what happened to me?"

Finally, God blessed me and I had to suddenly travel to some other new place along with my husband. There I had to attend my work and also settle my home life as my husband was continuously busy. This has build up my confidence telling me that I am capable of doing everything single handed. So, the grace of my past came back. But remember - I did not address my problem. I just ignored it.

Then again few years I had a normal life. But again, my problem started peeping back in my life after I became a Mother of 2 children. Again some sort of insecurity problem started haunting me. Then it slowly led to Panic attacks. This time I shared this with my family members. But, somehow I felt no one took it seriously. Again this matter also led to more of insecurity that no one is bothered about me. What about my children? If am deteriorating like this... who will take care of them? Is this really me? Where did I lose myself? This is not me. These were the questions dwelling my mind.

But observe... No where I was asking the question.... "What is making me behave like this??" My near and dear used to give me number of suggestions like.... Do meditation. Go to Yoga. Read books. You should be strong. Blah blah blah..... Yes, I want to stay strong. But how?? I was very much concerned only about my 1.5 year old twins. I tried to keep myself occupied but Panic attacks are something worst that they eat your mind. 

Finally, my husband took me to a psychologist for assessment and that's where "What is making me behave like this??" question was answered. The assessment revealed that - There will be always a trigger point in your mind to have this Panic attack. That trigger is "making me behave like this!!" In my case 1)a small fire accident in my home when I was alone  2)unexpected sickness in my office (where I fainted) has left few ever lasting impressions on my mind. 

However, assessment just identified my problem but wasn't addressed. Now what?? Though I recognized my problem I was unable to find solution for it. With the problem identified I passed 1 more year.

In my next write up I will let you know how Ms. Vandana Vijayan guided me to come out of this problem. How the depression has brought a good change in my life.

Jyothi

A year as a Mother Teacher

Dear readers,

In my previous posts, I have written how I retrospected myself and chose ECCE course to build my new career as a Preschool/Kindergarten Teacher. To be precise its "Mother Teacher" and not simply a Teacher. Because, it is understanding the child and trying to develop a supportive relation with 3 year olds. It requires as much patience as a Mother should have. 

I have been absorbed into one of the reputed educational institutions (Delhi Public School) in Hyderabad and I have been assigned the role of a mother teacher to Nursery class. When you say that you are teaching kindergarten kids, the general expression would be "Oh! Teaching ABC's." Yes! It's not easy. We are dedicating our professional life in helping the most precious resources.

Yes! We help the children to grow into responsible and competent learners... which is not only just teaching ABC. In this post I would give you a Panaromic view of how "A day in the life of Mother teacher" will be.

The day can be shown in....

Arrival time

Circle Time

Activity#1 Time

Snack Time

Play Time

Activity#2 Time

Dance Time

Wrap up Time

Don't ask where is the study time. The learning happens in each and every minute they spend with us. Its like on job learning.

I will give a walk through of each time happens.....

Arrival Time:

If you are a software engineer... you kick start your day at work with freshly brewed coffee, checking your mails, wishing each and every teammate. But when you work as a Preschool Teacher, the first half hour during the arrivals is the most crucial time where you can't even think of drinking water.

When the year commences, yes, most of them come crying. 1 in 100s may come like this to school...

None of your social skills will help you here. Its just the mood of the child.But later, after a month, you can see the same faces in smile lightening up to see you. They come dancing, jumping, singing to the class walking with pride.

It's because of the love, the support and the fun you shower on the learners.

Circle Time:

I start my class with a circle time. I sing rhymes, tell a story, any conversation, a small game etc etc. This is where I grab the attention of learners. But there are few who struggle at circle time. 

Activity Time:

Here comes the most interesting part. Because not all the learners like to do the activity you plan to do. Few will be like....

But...... If you plan your activities in such a way that it would cater the needs of all learners then your activity time would be....

                                     

Learners would love to wait for the activity time. 

You might think why do all doesn't like an activity?? Yes, because every learner has their own style of learning. One likes rhymes, another likes stories. One would prefer hands on activities where as few are lazy enough to move their fingers. So, if I am teaching letter "A", I should teach in all best possible styles that would reach the learner. Again.... if you have passion and personal interest, its not at all tough.

Snack Time:

The toughest time. During the beginning of the academic year...Most of them....

But making them finish the food in a jolly way is my responsibility. Very few will be so enthusiastically waiting for the snack time and they keep talking about the food in their box itself...

Its really very enjoyable to watch them eating.

Play Time:

At any point of time children are so eager to go outside and explore. This is what I observed. The more time you give them to play and explore the more they learn. When the learning is happening through self exploration they need very little guidance in explaining the concept. 

Like... My children learnt about plant life, birds and insects through nature walk. They enjoy watching them and naming their parts through touch.

Dance Time:

Though there is a Dance teacher, preschoolers dance only if the mother teacher dance. Because for them Mother teacher is like ENCYCLOPEDIA. What ever she tells is only the truth. I dance looking at the dance teacher and my children dance by looking at me. Funny right??

Wrap up time:

The best time to know what a child has learnt in a day. When you ask a question... The expression of making big eyes and telling the answer enthusiastically to receive a small sticker from the Mother teacher  is really inexplicable.

But, when it comes to year end and when you see a child who used to cry for hours is now enjoying his/her school time to the maximum gives us satisfaction of doing this tedious job.

Kudos to all the teachers who are grooming the children to make them bright individuals. Every human being is a mentor or teacher to some other person at a particular point of time. Keep mentoring and keep smiling!

Jyothi

What & who motivates me?

Hello everyone!

I don't have any specific agenda to write this post. But however, few days ago someone (a friend who is also a teacher) asked me...

"Who motivated you to become a teacher? How do you motivate yourself in being an active teacher?"

It was a retrospection again I have done to myself in being a teacher after an year. So, I just want to pen down the facts to let them know how I motivate myself.

To be frank, I was never particularly motivated to become a teacher. There were a couple of my school teachers to whom I looked up, but they were like cool role models. When I became a mother, I was very much interested in teaching my kids who were about to start their preschool. Then I used to recollect the student - teacher relationship I had with my school teachers.

But spending the time with your own kids during their early childhood doesn't make you a professional teacher. Teaching your own kids doesn't have any curriculum. I, as a mother helped them to be safe, treat each other fairly, express their emotions in healthy ways. So there is nothing much of "who motivated me?" question arising here.

I am not motivated to be a teacher but I enjoy being a mother teacher. To acquire this mother teacher role, I have done specified courses and daily I read at least one article that would help me improve my professional skills. What ever course you may do, how many articles you may read... there is something called "On job learning." 

So, during my job......

I love to bring myself to the level of kids... sit along with them on mat... listen to them.. play with them... talk to them and above all being their friend. As a teacher my job is to ease the kid and make them feel comfortable. Make them understand that there is a two way method of speaking and listening, a sacred agreement that no one is the boss of anyone else. Its building a relationship with each and every learner of the class.

I am motivated by the challenges I face while building the relationship with the learners. Its endlessly amazing to me that the more I learn through these challenges, still there is much more to learn. There is always a deeper depth, a greater height and a silly way to understand a child. Finding the path to complete the challenge is the point that keeps motivating me and  the young learners in my class are the ones who motivates me.

Jyothi

Lamington Cake.... An Australian cake

Lamington Cake is an Australian dessert of little cubes or squares of sponge cake, dipped in chocolate, then rolled in coconut.

This holiday season I have been to my sister's house in Bangalore. She recently bought an OTG. Kids started asking me to bake a cake starting from Day 1 I reached Bangalore. I have been postponing it and finally me and my sis planned to bake a cake. 

Kids started giving their own suggestions (actually their preference) of what flavoured cake needs to be baked. One wanted chocolate cake.... one wanted fondant cake.... one wanted frosting cake................. We said "Okay" to all and finally we decided to make Lamington Cake.🎂

Baking is one of my stress buster. I have been baking since 2 years and I wanted to try something new this time. So, I decided to make Lamington cake and it came out very well. Kids loved it to such an extent that they called me "Super Chef". 👨‍🍳

Here is the recipe of the cake.

Ingredients:

• All purpose flour 250gm
• Sugar  200gm
• Eggs    3
• Butter   100gm
• Vanilla essence 1 tbsp
• Baking powder 1 tbsp
• Milk 3/4th cup
• Chocolate bar (can take dairy milk)
• Grated fresh coconut

Procedure:

1. Set the oven to preheat for 10 mins at 180 degrees.
2. Sieve the flour. Put it aside.
3. Powder the sugar.
4. In a big vessel mix sugar and butter with a beater.
5. Add eggs one by one and mix it uniformly with beater.
6. Add vanilla essence, baking powder and mix it.
7. Now add the flour in parts and mix it with spatula. (I continue mixing with beater only. But actual procedure is to mix with spatula in cut and fold method).
8. Add milk and mix it uniformly such that no lumps are visible.
9. Apply butter to the baking pan and dust it with flour. Pour the cake mixture in to it.
10. Bake it in the oven for 30 mins at 180 degrees.
11. Ensure that cake is baked on all sides by pricking it with toothpick.

Making Lamington cake:

• Once the cake is separated from the baking pan, cut it into small cubes/squares/or any shape.
• Take chocolate pieces in a small bowl.
• Take very hot water in big mouth vessel and place the small bowl with chocolate pieces and melt it.
• Pour the melted chocolate in plate and take desiccated coconut in another plate.
• Roll the cake piece first in melted chocolate and later in coconut plate.

Yummy lamington cake is ready to eat. 

Jyothi.

Fine tuning of a Mother - ECCE course

                 As mentioned in my previous post, I came to know about the course Early childhood care  and education (ECCE). I would like to give a overview of the course and my experiences. The journey has made me experience many flavors of life.

DELHI PUBLIC SCHOOL(DPS) premises..... Evening 4 PM...

       DPS In collaboration with Durgabai Deshmukh Mahila Sabha - College of Teacher Education is offering a 55 days crash course of ECCE.  A curtain raiser about the course ECCE was organised by Director of DPS Ms.Sudha & Preprimary Headmistress Ms.Ashwini, which has given us a clear idea what the course is about and also an assurance that how we are going to complete it. Its an orientation session after which we can decide if we can join the course or not. Without a second thought I have paid the fee on the spot and registered myself for the course.

        As a mother we know every aspect about our children. But is that really true? Do you know what your child wants during their childhood age of 0 to 5 years? The course is all about this.... Fulfilling the needs of the child. The course not only transforms a mother to teacher but it helps in fine tuning of a mother.

       

July 18th 2017 - I entered the DDMS college with mixed feelings.... A happiness that I have found a ladder to restart my career... An anxiousness of how I will be able to complete the course with two children at home. 15 members enrolled to the course.All the students are mothers. Few of them were planning to restart their career and few of them just to enhance their skills.  We had an orientation by the most experienced staff at of DDMS college. Every one assured us that we will enjoy the course but one sentence told by course coordinator Prof.Jalaja has got sowed in my mind.... " You all are like buds of a plant in a beautiful garden, just allow yourself to blossom and flourish the fragrance hidden in you." What a beautiful words??? 

          The theory classes were commenced at DDMS. Classes timings were 10 AM to 1 PM. The course has 29 theory classes which were completed at DDMS. The course has 3 theory papers & 5 practical papers. 80% attendance is required. Its like I am back to college life. I have got new friends, chit chatting, sitting like a student on a bench and enjoying the class. 

Its the flavor of college life...

        I thoroughly enjoyed the theory classes because I started viewing the childhood through the eyes of a kid. I have learnt what minor mistakes I have made in upbringing my kids. Daily I used to experiment the tips given by facilitators on my kids and it used to work like a magic. I could see a lot of change in my behavior towards my kids which in turn brought good changes in their behavior.

Its the flavor of transformation.....

             During the completion of theory part we need to prepare teaching learning material (Teaching aids) for which marks will be awarded. I enjoyed it to core because I love crafting. We need to prepare puppets, puzzles, dominoes, sensory kit, touch cards... whoa...... I used to prepare a sample one and give to my kid to see to what level they liked it. I explored many ideas, registered in many blogs and then I came to know how good it is to engage a pre-primary kid. It needs to be as simple as it can be which is toughest job for a teacher. 

Its the flavor of exploration.....

               After theory comes the best part of the course... Apprenticeship,Teaching Practice, external visits and art education i.e., 20 days of practicum and 6 days of project work... a total of 26 days. That means 29 days theory + 26 days is 55 days total. 

              During Apprenticeship we attended Delhi Public School Pre Primary classes and we observed the teacher how they are handling the classes. I was extremely happy to be with kids. The silly questions they ask, their funny talks, their surprise expressions when you are telling a story and overall their love and hugs asking me not to leave their class... A wonderful feeling.

Its the flavor of love and affection.

           Teaching learning Practice we have to take the classes under the supervision of the class teacher. External visits gave us opportunity to visit other schools, anganwadis, English Foreign language university and many more. 

                Art record involved lots of painting techniques. How careful I might be... 3 times my daughter spilled water on my paintings. I wanted paintings to be simple because I was only thinking as a 4 year old and a kid should be able to make the replica of it. Whenever I sit for art record my daughters were ready with their charts. I used to spend my time in helping them. So finally, I used to sit after 10 PM to have uninterrupted work.

               The journey was not easy but very interesting. Everything we see has to be noted and then submitted in the form of Record. Everything has a dead line. In between popping up small home assignments. I also had other side of coin... Family, my kids half yearly exams, their ill health, my sickness, unexpected rains.... Had to make lot of adjustments, compromises etc etc. Everything seemed to be simple but when I attempt to do it I used to understand how difficult it is. 

                  During the month of October, I gave my exams. After 10 years, I again entered examination hall with a hall ticket, sat for 2 hours and wrote my exams. I finally cleared my exams and passed in distinction.

Its the flavor of success.

                 When I decided to join the course there were many around me saying 'its not easy', 'can't you sit at home?', 'Teacher job is the toughest job','Handling kindergarten kids is not easy'....... Why do we want only easy things? No job is easy. Every task we take up and if you want perfectionism in anything you do you have to come out of your comfort zone. The satisfaction you get in completing a difficult task is inexplicable. 

Its the flavor of difficulty.

                     Yes, I faced many ups and downs while pursuing the course. I had many sweet and sour moments through out the duration of the course. But my family, my kids, my friends, my teachers, co-teachers in DPS motivated and encouraged me a lot to complete the course. There had been a lot of disturbances because of unexpected changes in schedules. We used to feel annoyed. But later I understood that DPS is a huge educational institution and we are just a small branch of it. The management has lot more tasks to handle apart from this course. But all the time they helped us in every manner to make us feel comfortable. 


              I am very thankful to DPS for providing an opportunity to retrospect myself and bring out the talents that were sheltered. Its because of their helping hand that I came out of the box and completed the course. I am also thankful to DDMS facilitators who helped us in every possible way and who gave our good golden college days back in my life. Its because of this course I met some wonderful people who are my best friends now. Last, but not the least... I thank my family especially my husband and my sister who motivated me to reach my goal successfully.

               I am now waiting for an interview call from DPS........ Wish me success my dear friends. Any inquiry regarding the course, please feel free to approach me.

Regards,
Jyothi